Breaking Stars Page 20

  Her words soaked into me, traveled through my body, and settled square in my heart. “You’re a good friend, Quinn.”

  “The best,” she added with a small laugh.

  “You are.”

  “You understand, though, right? You aren’t mad at me?” she asked, her voice small.

  “I do understand. I’m not mad. Thank you for always looking out for me.”

  “I love you. I’ll see you when you get home. Hurry up. I miss you.”

  “Miss you too. ’Bye.”

  I disconnected the call before she said anything else and continued following the Mercedes in front of me.

  • • •

  After long days of monotonous driving, my apartment building was finally in view. Over time, the hurt I’d felt about Tatum’s reaction had been replaced by anger. It was the only way I could deal with everything my body and mind were currently attempting to process. As long as I was mad, I wasn’t sad or reeling in the loss.

  Jayson and Colin still led the way, and I found myself annoyed even more by their heavy-handed behavior. I didn’t need a freaking escort into my own home.

  As I pulled into the entrance, I was suddenly surrounded by hordes of people rushing to my car from every direction. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be accosted at every turn. Almost.

  Being in Hanford had been such a relief in every way. I didn’t realize how stressed I had become by simply choosing this career. It’s amazing the things that you’ll live with and stop noticing because they become a part of you—like the weight of certain anxieties and burdens. You simply carry it all on your shoulders and forget it’s there because you eventually become used to the extra weight.

  Cameras flashed all around me, blinding me even in the daylight. Reporters shouted questions so loudly, I couldn’t tune them out. It was worse than when I’d escaped to Quinn and Ryson’s house, so much worse.

  No longer were the questions about Colin and his stupid cheating ways, but about my apparent inability to handle it all. Because why else would I have been gone for so long?

  “Paige, did you really try to kill yourself?”

  “How was rehab? What were you in for, sweetie?”

  “We heard Colin found you and saved you. Are you two back together?”

  “Do you have a drinking problem? Drug overdose?”

  “Colin’s here! Did Colin bring you home from rehab? Is this a new start for you two?”

  I stepped out of my car at the same time Colin exited Jayson’s. If I thought the flashes were blinding before, they were nothing in comparison to the flurry that started then. The press loved a good drama, and that was what my relationship with Colin had become since the news of his cheating broke.

  Colin wrapped his arm around my lower back. When I tried to wiggle out of his grasp, his fingers dug deeper into my side.

  “Get off me,” I hissed at him, knowing that this was the ultimate publicity stunt for him. What better way for him to save his own hide than to be seen with me? If Paige Lockwood could forgive Colin, then why couldn’t the rest of the world?

  “Stop being so difficult, Paige,” he said through clenched teeth. “Let me help you inside.” He smiled brightly at the cameras before kissing the side of my head.

  The moment his lips touched me, I recoiled and fought off the urge to puke all over my shoes. The paparazzi continued to shout, cameras continued to flash, and I no longer cared about any of it. I pressed my palms against Colin and shoved him away from me so hard he almost fell to the ground. I wished he would have.

  “Stay away from me,” I yelled without considering the implications. “I don’t want you here!” I rushed into the lobby of my building and into a waiting elevator, in which Sam held the doors. It was nice to see a familiar, friendly face.

  “They’ve been here for days, Miss Lockwood. It’s like they knew you were on your way back. They won’t leave,” Sam said, and his concern for me was touching.

  I considered his words for only a moment before saying, “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not true, right? All the things they’re saying?”

  “No, Sam, it’s not true,” I said with a tired sigh. I was exhausted, and I’d only just returned.

  A wide smile transformed his face. “I knew it. None of it sounded like you at all.”

  Thankful to finally have someone on my side, I said, “Sam, please make sure that no one lets Colin or Jayson up to my apartment without verbal permission from me first. Okay? It’s important.”

  I no longer trusted Jayson. I had only considered the notion before I left town, but was now convinced that he didn’t have my best interests at heart.

  “No one will come up,” he said with a nod. “Except Miss Quinn and your family?”

  “Perfect. No one except them. Thank you.”

  “Anything for you.” He leaned around me and pressed the proper floor on button panel before slipping out of the elevator and leaving me alone.

  As the doors closed, Tatum’s face appeared in my mind’s eye and I winced. Would I never see him again? Even the thought of that broke my heart. But right now I needed to focus and figure out my future, and not worry about the guy who sent me packing.

  What the hell had I done to my career and reputation by leaving?

  Just a Fling

  Tatum

  I hadn’t accomplished a damn thing since I pushed Paige out of town. My computer at the shop had been bookmarked up the ass with celebrity gossip sites and entertainment channels.

  I was a man obsessed. Every time I saw a photo of Paige and Colin together, like the one splashed on every website of him walking her into her apartment building, his hand on her waist, I wanted to throw this piece-of-shit computer across the room and watch it shatter the same way my heart had.

  As much as I wanted to believe they weren’t back together, there was no denying the pictures I saw. Even the one where it looked like she was shoving him away, but the photo was followed by a headline that made even me question exactly what I was seeing, and I had just spent weeks with the girl.

  I needed to rein it in. Paige stopped being my business the minute I allowed her to drive away without me.

  Knuckles rapped against the door frame of the shop’s office, forcing me to find some sense of inner calm. I leaned back in the squeaky swivel chair, and my eyes fell upon Celeste’s sad expression.

  “What do you want? Come to rub it all in my face?” I ask snidely, knowing that Celeste wasn’t at all the cause of my ire and didn’t deserve it, but I’d been an unbearable bastard since Paige exited my life.

  “Don’t be mean to me,” she snapped, and shame washed over me.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Pulling up the guest chair closer to me, she sat down uninvited. “I know you’re hurting, Tatum, that’s why I came. I know who ratted out Paige’s location, and I couldn’t keep that information from you. Not once I knew for sure.”

  I leaned forward, my arms pressing down on top of my old man’s desk. “Who?”

  Her eyes closed briefly before she opened them again. “One guess,” she said, her head nodding along with my changing expression.

  “Brina.” My throat constricted with the single word as fire started to flow through my veins. “Why would she do that?”

  “Because she’s a jealous bitch, Tatum. There’s no other reason for her awful behavior other than if you weren’t going to be with her, then you weren’t going to be with anyone. Especially not someone famous. Brina can’t handle it. She can’t handle the fact that you want nothing to do with her. She can’t handle the fact that a famous Hollywood actress wants something to do with you, so she got rid of her. She found out Paige’s agent’s name and she called him. Told him exactly where Paige was.”

  “I wondered how the hell he found her,” I said, my voice almost failing me.

  “I had my suspicions and once I caught her in a lie, she couldn’t keep her information straight, she let it all out. Not only did she ca
ll Jayson, she was the one who suggested he bring Colin along. She told him it might help. That Paige missed him.”

  My head spun as my insides churned. “Haven’t I been through enough hell in my life without the people who are supposed to care about me working to screw it all up? What the hell!”

  “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Celeste’s eyes met mine.

  “I didn’t scorn her, she scorned me!” I shouted and then fought back a laugh at how ridiculous this conversation had become.

  “I’m just saying,” Celeste said with a shrug, “women can be cruel. And Brina doesn’t like losing.”

  “She lost a long time ago. None of this makes any sense.” I battled with my growing fury, thanking God I wasn’t a woman, but couldn’t help but wonder why some of them were so screwed up.

  Celeste frowned. “I’m done with her. I can’t be friends with someone like that anymore. I’ve overlooked a lot of things over the years, but this is something I can’t get past.”

  I shook my head, unable to form a response because, really, what was there for me to say? I’d given up on Brina the day she gave up on me.

  “I just wanted you to know what was going on, Tatum. And I needed you to know what she’d done.”

  I assumed she was done and would get up to leave, but she stayed seated, staring at me. “What?” I asked her, shrugging my shoulders.

  Celeste tilted her head as she studied me. “What the heck are you gonna do about Paige? You’re not just going to let her go without a fight, are you? That’s not the stand-up guy I know.”

  I dropped my head into my hands, feeling worse than ever. “I don’t think it was anything more than just a fling. She was in a bad place and needed to get away, and she happened to find me in the process.”

  “That’s crap and you know it.” She narrowed her eyes at me as a scowl appeared. “Or maybe you don’t know it. But I saw the way she looked at you, and I saw the way you looked at her. That was no fling. And if you’re too stupid to realize it, I’m sitting here telling you. That way you have no one to blame but yourself if you don’t go after her.”

  “I can’t just pick up and leave!” I snapped before forcing myself to calm down. “I have a business to run. This shop is our livelihood and I can’t abandon it, or my mom.”

  Reaching across the desk, Celeste tapped my arm and said, “Tatum, you are so much more than this small town. I don’t think your mama would want you to stay here at the cost of your own happiness. You’ve been doing that ever since your daddy died.”

  I knew she was right, having already discussed this with Paige on more than one occasion. I remembered the other night where I promised her that we could start looking toward my future. That was before I shoved her out of my house, when every day felt like a promise just because she was a part of it. Now my days felt like a sort of punishment. A well-deserved one, at that.

  “Have you even talked to her since she left?”

  Her question burned a hole in my gut, and I shuddered at my own cowardice. “No.”

  “Don’t you think you should at least apologize?” Celeste’s eyes bored through me, her disappointment as clear as the sun on a cloudless day.

  “I should do a lot of things, Celeste. Thanks for the pep talk,” I said sarcastically, sensing myself starting to shut down.

  She shook her head. “It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore. And it’s sad.”

  “Why are you on my ass?” I shouted. “Why do you care so much about what I do?”

  She inhaled a deep breath before saying, “Because you have no idea how happy you looked these past few weeks. It was like we had the old Tatum back. And I want that for you.”

  Her words stung. “What do you think I should do?” I asked.

  “I think that for starters, it’s time you had a frank conversation with your mama. Like yesterday,” she said pointedly before getting up and walking toward the door.

  “It’s not that easy,” I called out to her.

  Celeste stopped in the doorway and turned to pin me with a serious look. “The best things in life aren’t always easy, Tatum. But they’re worth fighting for. I’m scared to death you’ll never get over this thing with Paige if you stay here and give up.” And just like that, she walked out, leaving me in the office alone with my thoughts and her words echoing in my mind.

  She was right, which thoroughly pissed me off. I wanted to toss something after her or punch something, but I buried my head in my hands instead. I’d really screwed things up with Paige. Even if I did get my shit together and work on my future, how could I do that and still include her in it?

  Paige probably didn’t even want me at this point; she probably hated my guts. But Celeste was right—losing Paige would ruin me if I let it. A girl like that was worth fighting for, and it was time I took a turn in the ring.

  The Land of Spectacular Lies

  Paige

  “Hi, Mom,” I said into my cell phone as I settled onto the couch. I’d slept most of the day away, my mind filled with dreams of a place that suddenly felt achingly far away.

  “Hi, honey. How was your night? Did you sleep okay?” she asked, although I half wondered if she already knew the answer.

  “Once I finally fell asleep, yeah. Actually, I just woke up not too long ago,” I said, glancing over at the wall clock that read 4:42.

  “Well, that’s good. You’re probably mentally exhausted. Do you want me to come over?”

  Seeing my mom sounded so appealing, but I needed more time. “I do want to see you, Mom, but not just yet. I need to figure some things out first. You’ve seen all the reports about rehab and stuff?” I squeezed my eyes shut with the ridiculous notion.

  She sighed. “There are some paparazzi camped outside the house. They’re relentless. I lost it and yelled at one of them the other day, but they wouldn’t believe me.”

  “What happened? What did you say?” Curious, I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees.

  “They were asking me all these horrible questions about your battle with drugs and alcohol and suicide. I told them that you simply needed a break, but when they asked me where you were, I couldn’t answer, and so I think I made it all worse. I’m sorry, honey. I was only trying to help.”

  She sounded exhausted too. It was one thing for the stories to affect me and my day-to-day life, but when they affected my family, it stung. I hated the way they got dragged into anything that had to do with me. If I lost sleep over anything, it was things like that.

  “Mom, you didn’t make anything worse. Don’t worry about it. You know they’re going to say whatever they want to make money. Just don’t talk to them anymore. They aren’t worth your energy.” I tried to believe my own words, but it was easier to give advice than it was to take it.

  “Paige, I’ll come over anytime you need me to. Just let me know, okay? I’m dying to see you. Your sister is too,” she added, sounding happier at the notion.

  “That sounds really nice,” I said, meaning it more than she knew. The thought of being with my family was incredibly comforting. “I’ll see you both soon. I miss you.”

  We said our good-byes, and I hung up the phone. Reaching for my laptop, I started scrolling through all the false reports and pure guesses being reported as fact as to my whereabouts. I stopped reading the articles after I realized it wasn’t doing me any good. There were only so many lies you could attempt to absorb about yourself before you wanted to run outside and show them all the true meaning of crazy.

  Because I hadn’t been seen for weeks, rehab was a natural assumption. Although I didn’t entirely blame the press for that, I completely blamed them for their horrific reasoning for it. The tabloids reported that I couldn’t handle Colin’s infidelity and that I was too embarrassed to show my face in public. They claimed that I’d tried to overdose on pills, and one even quoted me as saying I wanted to “make the pain go away forever.”

  The most frustrating part for me was that in all t
he years of being famous, I’d never once made a spectacle of myself. I’d never handled myself badly or acted like a girl who couldn’t live without her boyfriend. So it pissed me off for everyone to be so quick to believe I was suddenly pathetic, weak, and self-destructive.

  Was there no loyalty anymore? Had nothing I’d done counted for anything? Apparently not when it came to selling magazines or online ad space.

  A swift knock at my door startled me, causing my breath to quicken. Since the lobby hadn’t called up to inform me that I had a guest, I knew it had to be Quinn.

  “Come in,” I shouted from my comfy spot on the sofa. I glanced behind me to see my best friend burst through the door and run in my direction.

  “My God, I’ve missed you!” She plopped herself into my lap and wrapped her arms around me, her blond ponytail swishing from side to side.

  Squeezing her back, I choked out, “I missed you too. Now get off me.”

  She glanced at my laptop screen before reaching over to slam it shut. “Don’t read it. It’s all total horseshit pulled out of thin air.”

  “Pretty hurtful horseshit,” I muttered.

  Her mouth dropped open. “Paige Agatha Lockwood, did you just swear? Why, I never!” she said in a thick Southern accent.

  “I did, but I didn’t enjoy it,” I said with a pout.

  “You enjoyed it a little,” she teased, and when I vehemently shook my head in disagreement, she hopped up and said, “I’m grabbing a water. You need anything?”

  “I’m good.” I raised my already full water glass in her direction.

  “We’re going to talk about all the press and stuff in a minute, but first I’m dying to hear about Tatum and all the red he made you feel,” she shouted from the kitchen as if she were a thousand feet away.

  When Quinn mentioned Tatum, my heart seized. I flashed back to the conversation where I told Quinn that Tatum made me feel in color, just like a Taylor Swift song.

  “A little louder,” I called out. “I don’t think the people on the street heard you.”

  “I said,” she yelled even louder, then laughed at herself as she walked back into the living room. “Sorry, I’ve been an angry wife all day on set, so there’s been a lot of raised voices.”