No Bad Days Page 17

  “It would have been something, all right,” she said in a tight voice.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m getting pissed, Jess. Which is what you should be.”

  “Did I mention he was drunk?”

  “No, you didn’t mention that.” She sighed. “Still, he shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

  “Will you think less of me if I tell you that I liked hearing them?”

  “No. Because if it were me and Nick Fisher, I would have liked hearing them too.”

  “Really?” Her admission made me feel a thousand times better about my reaction, made me feel less weak.

  “Really. But I don’t like that he did all that. It’s not fair to you.”

  “Ha! I said the same thing.”

  “I’m sure he really cared,” she said with a groan.

  “Like I said.” I paused. “Drunk.”

  “Like I always say.” She mimicked my dramatic pause. “Selfish prickface.”

  I laughed. “Since when do you always say that about Nick?”

  “Since now. Since right fucking now.”

  She was pissed, and no one was safe when Rachel got truly angry. She would lash out at the cause of her fury until they apologized or righted their wrongs.

  Nerves suddenly shot through me. “Don’t talk to him, Rachel. Don’t say anything. This isn’t your battle, okay?” When she didn’t respond, I said, “I’m asking you nicely. Please. This isn’t on you.”

  The last thing I wanted was Rachel chasing Nick down and giving him a piece of her mind. It wasn’t her place. Plus, if anyone was going to yell at Nick, it should be me.

  A loud huff sounded in my ear. “Fine, chica. I will do my best.”

  We stayed on the phone a little longer, neither of us saying much, but her presence helped calm me down.

  I looked at the clock. It was past five. “He’s definitely not coming. What do I do?”

  “You move on. Get over him. Instead of it being one hell of a grand gesture, it was the asshole move of the century.”

  I nodded in agreement with my best friend’s assessment. “I know it wasn’t realistic. It’s not like I could have left with him. But I’m so fucking disappointed, Rachel. Why am I so disappointed? Why am I like this when it comes to him?”

  “Because you still love him. And you want him to fight for you. But instead of fighting, he’s giving up. And that’s twice now.”

  I sniffed and tried to swallow the bitter truth in her words. She was right. That was twice now. And I did want the fight . . . I wanted to be worth it. And Nick not showing up only proved to me once more how much I wasn’t.

  “Are you going to call him?” she asked, breaking through my thoughts.

  “No.”

  “Really?”

  “I can’t. What if he says he doesn’t remember calling me last night? Or that it was a mistake, that he was drunk and didn’t mean anything that he said? I can’t handle hearing that from him. I can’t handle hearing him take it all back,” I admitted as my emotions started to get the best of me.

  “Then can I offer you a terrible suggestion?”

  I laughed. “Yes. I expect nothing less.”

  “They always say that the best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one. Go sleep with some random hottie.”

  “You know I can’t do that.” I wasn’t a one-night-stand kind of girl, and I didn’t hook up with guys I wasn’t at least interested in.

  “I know you’re not, but it was worth a shot. Promise me you’ll try and meet someone else. Please. Go out. Drag Brooke to some frat parties. You need to try to get over Nick once and for all.”

  I sat there shaking my head, the very idea seeming impossible. “I’m not ready,” I said honestly. “I will be. Hopefully soon. But right now I’m just not ready.”

  And I wasn’t. No matter how hard I wanted Nick to be a part of my past so I could move on without thinking about him, I simply wasn’t there yet. I still woke up thinking about him every morning. My heart still ached when I thought of him. Memories of us were still the last thing that played in my mind each night before I fell asleep.

  She sighed into the phone. “I know, chica. You still need more time. I get that.”

  I was thankful for her understanding. Rachel made me feel less alone and a little less crazy.

  “Thanks. I’m gonna go.”

  “Okay. And for the record? I’m sorry.”

  When we ended the call, I sat there with my phone in my hand, debating whether to shoot Nick a text.

  In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The fear of what he might say was far greater than my need to know where he was. It was obvious he wasn’t coming up here. And the rational part of me knew that was for the best, even if my heart didn’t agree.

  My heart would eventually get on board with the rest of me. I was sure of it.

  Continually Screwed

  Nick

  My brothers’ bar was closed for the night, but I had no intention of leaving. It was the only place where I found any sort of solace lately. Their bar had become my escape, my sole place of peace.

  “Have you talked to Jess?” Ryan asked from behind the bar where he was washing and hand-drying glasses. I would have thought that he knew something about my call to her last night if he didn’t ask me that question every time I saw him.

  Because he did ask. Every fucking time. And the answer was always the same as the last time he’d asked.

  No.

  “I might have called her last night. I was drunk out of my mind,” I said, and both my brothers stopped what they were doing to give me shocked looks.

  “Classy,” Frank said with an eye roll from across the room.

  “It’s the only time I have even half a ball to dial her number, okay?” I admitted, and it was the truth.

  I had wanted to call Jess every second of every single day, no matter how busy I was at work, but I couldn’t do that to her. Not if I couldn’t offer her a relationship or tell her I wanted to get back together. Calling her would only hurt her, and up until last night, I’d been trying my best not to do that anymore. I knew I’d already hurt her enough. Hell, I’d hurt us both enough.

  “I don’t understand why you let her go in the first place. Explain that to me, little brother.”

  Strange that the question came from Frank; I would have expected it from Ryan. He was definitely the more romantic of two of them, whereas Frank was stuck in some relationship he couldn’t seem to get out of. That aside, I’d already told both of them this a thousand times.

  I groaned and lifted my beer for a sip. “You already know why.”

  “We just like to hear how stupid it sounds when it comes out of your mouth,” Ryan said with a laugh.

  “Yeah. And we’re hoping one of these times it will sound stupid to you too. Idiot,” Frank added.

  I moved my stool back to stand up and face off with my brothers. “You’re supposed to fucking help me. Not make me feel worse.”

  Ryan stepped in front of me, his eyes meeting mine. “Sit back down. You’re right. We’re just giving you shit.”

  “I can’t take it right now, okay? Between Dad and the pressure to take over the company one day, and he keeps pushing me to date Carla so our families can merge and be this superpower entertainment giant—”

  “Wait. What?” Frank and Ryan said at the same time. Ryan dropped a glass, its shattering on the tile floor deafening in the quiet bar, but neither of them paid it any mind.

  “What are you talking about?” Frank asked, his green eyes narrowing as he leveled a hard look at me.

  “Which part?” I took another sip of beer, wishing it were something stronger.

  Frank and Ryan looked at each other before looking back at me. “All of it?” they both said. You’d almost think they were twins sometimes with the way their minds were so in sync.

  When I just shrugged, Frank walked over and snatched my almost empty glass of beer away from me.<
br />
  “Hey!” I shouted.

  “You’ll get it back after you start talking.”

  I looked to Ryan for support, but he crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, clearly on Team Frank. I really hated them sometimes.

  Sighing, I said, “What do you want to know?”

  “Start with Dad and the company,” Ryan said.

  “How is this surprising you guys right now? You both know he’s been grooming me to take over the company since I was thirteen.”

  Ryan leaned back against the counter. “Right,” he said, dragging out the word. “But you don’t want to. When are you going to stop doing what he wants you to and live your own life?”

  I bristled. “That’s not fair. You didn’t have to deal with any of this shit. You didn’t have this version of Dad, but I do. He didn’t expect either of you to come back and run the company, but he pounded it into my head nearly every day.”

  Frank pulled up a stool next to mine and sat down. “But you hate it.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t hate it; I’m actually really fucking good at it. I just don’t want to do it forever. And I want to work here with you guys.”

  He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “And we want you here. But mostly, we want you to be happy.”

  “And we want you to live your life for you,” Ryan added. “It’s not right that Dad does that to you. We can talk to him, if you want.”

  “No. It’ll only make things worse.”

  “How?” Frank asked.

  Clearly, neither of them understood how drastically our father had changed since becoming successful.

  “He has a temper. I guess that’s a new thing, according to Mom, but I’ve always been privy to it.”

  Frank’s jaw clenched, and Ryan cocked his head to one side hard enough that I heard his neck crack.

  “He hit you?” Ryan asked.

  “No, no. God. No. Nothing like that. He just gets really angry. He likes to threaten the things I care about. He’s manipulative. The man doesn’t like to lose, and I really fucking hate disappointing him.”

  Frank handed my beer back to me, his face pinched as if he were in pain. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that alone. I had no idea things were that bad.”

  I downed the rest of my beer and pushed my glass away. “It’s not your fault.”

  “It’s not yours either,” Ryan said. “Now, what about this whole dating-Carla thing?”

  Frustrated, I closed my eyes for a minute. I’d hoped they’d forgotten that part. “Dad wants me to date Carla Crawford.”

  “Why? Why does he give a shit who you date?” Ryan asked as he drew himself a beer. “And who is Carla Crawford?”

  “Her dad owns half the TV stations in Southern California. That’s a lot of marketing Dad would get access to if I were dating her.”

  Frank and Ryan shared a confused look, then Frank shook his head. “It’s like we don’t even know the man you’re talking about.”

  “I can’t even imagine him being so cold, so heartless.” Ryan scowled. “Caring about the business over the family?”

  I didn’t know what to say in response. Dad being cold was all I had ever known. Him controlling my life, telling me what to do in every aspect of it was part of the deal.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  Ryan raked his hands through his hair, as if the idea of reconciling the man he knew with the one I talked about was almost impossible. “Okay. I can’t— I just can’t deal with this right now. It’s beyond fucking crazy to me. It’s crazy. You do know that, right, Nick?”

  My throat was tight as I tried to swallow. “It’s all I’ve ever known, really. I’m used to it.”

  Frank slammed his hand down on the bar top. “No! You’re not used to it. You don’t get to be used to it, Nick. It’s fucked up. This whole thing,” he said, his eyes a little wild, “everything you’re saying . . . it’s so fucked up.”

  I threw up my hands in defeat. “Bro, I don’t know what you want from me.”

  Ryan and Frank shared another quiet look that told me everything. They’d be discussing this later without me present. They didn’t like the things I was telling them, and that both terrified and excited me. I’d never had anyone stand up for me before, and God only knew I needed all the help I could get. I’d never been able to stand up to Dad on my own. When I was a kid, I was too young, and by the time I got old enough, it seemed too hard to change. It was easier to just roll with it, especially with how intense and angry he got when he even thought I was challenging him.

  Ryan downed his beer before he turned to pour three shots. “Enough of that. Let’s get back to Jess. What did you say to her last? What happened?”

  “Yeah, little brother. I want to hear this.”

  Frank took over the bar stool next to mine. Ryan passed each of us a shot, and we downed them without question.

  “I might have told her I was coming up there to get her and bring her home.” I couldn’t look them in the eye when I said the words, too afraid of the judgment I’d see there.

  Ryan burst out laughing. “Oh, that’s rich. Are you kidding?”

  Frank leaned toward me, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You told her you were coming up there to bring her home?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why would you say that exactly?” he asked as Ryan propped his elbows on the bar and rested his chin on his hand.

  “Because her old roommate said she hated it. She told me that Jess was miserable up there. And I’m fucking miserable down here without her,” I said, hoping my reasoning sounded as logical as it seemed to me.

  Frank glanced around us at the empty bar, then met my gaze. “So if you’re supposed to be up there bringing her home, why the hell are you here with us?” He frowned at me, apparently not too thrilled with me at the moment.

  “She told me not to come, okay?”

  “Wait.” Ryan squinted at me. “Did she say those words exactly . . . ‘Nick, don’t come up here?’ Or what did she say? Gimme more info.”

  Frank groaned and leaned his head back in frustration. “Sometimes, Ryan, I swear to God. You’re such a fucking chick.”

  Ryan gave him a shit-eating grin. “For your information, I’m romantic. The ladies love romance.”

  “Then why don’t you have a lady in your life?” Frank fired back, and Ryan grabbed his heart, pretending to be wounded.

  “Because I haven’t found the right woman yet, okay?”

  “Lord knows you try.” Frank scoffed and exchanged a glance with me, hinting at Ryan’s serial-dater ways.

  “I’d rather try and find the right one than be stuck in a relationship I can’t get out of,” Ryan shot back before sucking in a breath. “Shit, dude, I’m sorry. Too far.”

  A muscle jumped in Frank’s jaw. “It’s fine.”

  He had moved his live-in girlfriend, Shelby, here to LA with him when he relocated from Arizona to open the bar, rather than breaking up with her like both Ryan and I told him to do. Apparently he’d felt obligated somehow, as if he owed it to her to bring her along for this transition. We both knew that Frank felt stuck, but he hated talking about it. He was too nice a guy to break Shelby’s heart, so he stayed miserable instead. And he kept it all in.

  “Let’s get back to harassing Nick. It’s much more fun,” Ryan said with a laugh. “Tell me what happened on this call.”

  Grimacing, I pushed my shot glass in his direction. “I might need another shot.”

  Ryan turned his back to fill our shot glasses one last time. I downed mine quickly, letting the burn course through my throat all the way to my stomach before starting.

  “I called her and told her I wanted to come get her and bring her home where she belongs.”

  “Did she like that caveman crap?” Frank said, interrupting.

  “Obviously not, since I’m sitting here with you two idiots.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Frank, stop interrupting. Go on,” Ryan said
, glaring between me and my oldest brother.

  “She told me not to come. Said she couldn’t leave, but she told me not to come get her.” I winced a little, as reliving the sound of her voice and her words forced the pain to slice through me.

  Ryan cleared his throat. “Little brother, of course she said that. What was she supposed to do, pack up her shit and move home with you? She’s still in school.”

  “Yeah,” Frank added. “What were you thinking?”

  “I was thinking that she was miserable up there. I was thinking that she’d want to see me and that I could save her. I wanted to be the one to save her. To make her happy again instead of sad. I wasn’t thinking she’d tell me no.”

  “She can’t possibly tell you yes.” Frank rolled his eyes, as if I was the world’s biggest idiot for thinking otherwise.

  “Well, she didn’t have to say that she didn’t want me to come up there at all. She told me to stay home. She begged me to stay here.” Scowling at them, I willed them to see my side of things, but they didn’t budge.

  “You’re being unrealistic. You can’t be her knight in shining armor when she doesn’t need rescuing,” Ryan said with a smug smile.

  “You think this is funny?” I leaned into his space, looking for a fight. Anything that would let me get my aggression out.

  “A little,” he said, baiting me.

  “Keep it in your pants,” Frank growled. “Have you called her since your epic fail last night?”

  “No.”

  “No?” he bellowed into the empty bar.

  “Did I stutter?” I was getting real sick and tired of them picking apart my every move. Maybe confiding in my brothers wasn’t the best idea.

  “Oh my God, Nick. How did you get so stupid? Is this because we were gone by the time you started to grow up? You can’t be related to me and be this bad at love.” Ryan groaned as if my ineptness at romance was somehow a reflection on him.

  “What? She told me not to come. She told me to stay here. I didn’t think that warranted a phone call the next day just so she could say it to me again. I can’t take it from her. I can’t hear her tell me she doesn’t want to see me.”