Breaking Stars Page 16

  The heat wrapped itself around me with each step, making me wonder if people got used to it. I still wasn’t. Tatum reached for my hand and rubbed his thumb across my palm. Buster wagged his tail and followed behind before Tatum shooed him away and told him to stay put. The dog whined, but stopped walking and plopped down right in the dirt.

  “So, where are we going?” I asked when I realized we weren’t headed the same direction as the swimming hole, and I hadn’t been to any other part of the property before.

  “You’ll see when we get there.”

  “That’s helpful.”

  “You’ll like it,” he assured me, and I believed him. It made me realize that when Tatum said something, I knew it was true. For some reason I implicitly trusted him.

  We walked through a wide-open field and directly into a line of trees. The sun disappeared as we stepped under the canopy of oversized branches and green leaves. Tiny rays of sunlight would stream through the space in the trees when they could, forming what looked like roads to the sky. Our steps echoed into the space around us as branches and old leaves crushed under the weight of our feet. My sandals slapped against my feet, and somewhere along the walk, I’d started counting the clip-clap sounds they made.

  “Are we almost there?” I asked, breaking the vocal silence.

  “Almost.” Tatum smiled, and I noticed that his usual stress lines looked less pronounced. He looked happy.

  Was it because of me?

  Pulling me through the trees, it seemed that he knew exactly where to head. All the trees looked the same to me, and heaven help me because if Tatum ditched me in here, I’d never find my way out. I’d be lost in the land of sunless forest forever. And then I’d die there.

  A few more steps and the trees thinned out, the forest opening up into a meadow with tall grasses. I spotted something out of the corner of my eye and knew this was where he was taking me. A swing hung motionless at the edge of the darkened woods and the brightly lit meadow. The tree that held it was large at its base, with sweeping branches that almost touched the ground in places. It looked like something straight out of a picture book, the way the light hit it on one side.

  I smiled at Tatum. “Do I get to swing on it?”

  He nodded. “Let me look at it first. I tightened the rope not too long ago, but I want to make sure it will hold.”

  The swing’s wooden seat was strung up on each side with some weathered rope that I assumed was once white. I followed the rope upward until I saw where it met the tree branch and looped around. “Who made this?”

  “My dad. He used to bring me with him when he would gather up fallen tree limbs for firewood. He made me that swing as a reward after I’d looked for as many pieces of wood that I could find.” Tatum’s expression looked wistful. “After I’d put all the wood in a pile, he’d push me on this swing for hours. It was probably only twenty minutes, but it felt like hours. I loved this swing.”

  “I would have too. What a great memory.” I reached out for his shoulder and gently squeezed. He turned and pulled me against him, his arms strong and tight around my body. I could feel every movement his chest made as it moved in and out against me. The weight of his chin rested on top of my head, and I knew he was battling through some emotions, so I stayed quiet. We stayed like that for a few breaths before he let me go.

  “He would’ve loved you. He woulda told me I was out of my league, but he woulda loved you,” he said, his lips forming a half smile.

  I smacked his arm. “Stop it.”

  “It’s true,” he said as he tugged on the ropes and inspected the wood. He hopped onto the seat and bounced a little before deeming it safe for me to ride. “All ready, milady.”

  I curtsied. “Why, thank you, good knight.”

  Tatum’s hands gripped my waist as he lifted me like I weighed nothing and placed me square on the wood plank. I shuffled and scooted my butt back a little farther, then shouted, “Ready!”

  “Ready for what? Don’t you know how to swing?” he asked, standing in front of me.

  I cocked my head to the side and extended my legs, trying to reach for his goodies. “I know how to swing, all right, and you’d better watch out. I’ve got one heck of a leg stretch,” I teased.

  “Don’t you kick me, woman.” He moved behind me, completely out of view. Firm hands pressed against my back before they shoved at me. I squealed as the swing flew forward and I was soaring into the trees.

  “Tatum, it’s so pretty! It looks like I’m flying through branches and with the trees!” I cried out in delight as he pushed me higher and higher, each forward movement sending me more and more into a state of bliss. My hair flew all around me, covering my face before blowing away again. I felt like I was soaring, and I wanted to thank the heavens for giving me the wings to fly.

  Glancing back at him, I asked, “So, what did you want to do after school? I mean, did you want to play professional football for a living?”

  “Not really. Playing football helped pay my tuition, and without that scholarship, my parents would have gone into serious debt to get me into school. Football was a means to an end, from my perspective.”

  “But did you enjoy playing, at least?”

  He laughed. “Oh, hell yeah! I loved it. I just didn’t want to do it forever.”

  “Well, if you didn’t want to play football, then what did you want to do?” As the swing fell to where Tatum’s hands would normally reach for me, I braced for the contact, but it didn’t come. I turned to look at him and made the swing go crooked as it moved forward again, wobbling from side to side.

  “I’ll tell you after you tell me more stuff about you,” he said.

  “What do you want to know?” I offered, wondering what he would ask and if there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t honestly tell him.

  He pulled the swing to a stop and leaned toward me like he was going to confess a secret before asking, “Why were you really driving across the country? Was it all because of Douchepants?” Reaching for my hand, he grabbed it, planted a kiss on the top, then pulled me back and sent me swinging again toward the trees.

  “No,” I shouted immediately before pondering on where to start exactly. “I just needed to get away. I’d been telling my team that I wanted to go to college for a few years now, but they kept putting me off. It was always ‘Not now, Paige’ or ‘You can do that later,’ you know?”

  Tatum nodded that he understood, and I continued. “But I finally realized that later was a day that was never gonna come. They were never gonna let me stop working to go to school. And then my little sister started applying to colleges and hearing back from them, and now she’s getting ready to move on with her life and move out.”

  “And you were jealous?” he asked, his tone understanding and not judgmental.

  “I was. I was totally jealous. Stupid, right?” I slowed my kicks and waved Tatum’s hands off as the swing came to a slow stop.

  “Not at all. Most of us are raised as products of our environment. A lot of the kids here are raised to take over their family farms, or run a shop, or something. But I’m sure where you grew up, everyone planned on going to school and then going to college. We all follow these paths that are set before us, whether we realize we’re doing it or not.”

  It felt like a light bulb clicked in my brain as I stared at Tatum. “You are so right. So, so right. I always assumed that that was what I would do. I would graduate from high school and go to college. I’d never planned on being an actress or anything like that. All that stuff came out of nowhere.”

  Tatum nodded. “But the things you’d wanted back then, you still want now. It’s like having unfulfilled dreams. Or parts of your life you always thought you’d have and then they got taken away from you. The want doesn’t go away simply because the opportunity did.” He shrugged, obviously completely getting it. Maybe because he’d lived it too.

  “How’d you get so smart?” I kicked playfully at his leg with my foot, and he grabbed on.

>   “How’d you get so dumb?”

  I opened my mouth to say something in response, but all I could do was laugh. And then I couldn’t stop.

  “Your turn,” I told him through my laughing fit.

  “For what?” He raised his eyebrows and smirked at me.

  “To tell me what you wanted to do after college.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You can’t tell me?” My stomach instantly tensed up. I had just shared so much of myself with him, and he didn’t want to share this with me?

  “Not here. I’ll show you when we get back to the barn.”

  Curious, I was practically dancing in my seat with impatience. “Let’s go back there now then.”

  “Nah. Not yet. You’re not done flying through the trees.” He pushed at my back again and I sailed into the humid air.

  “I can’t remember the last time I’ve been on a swing. How come we forget how fun they are?”

  “We forget all kinds of things once we grow up. But I knew you’d like it.”

  As I pumped my feet, my brown hair blowing all around me as I floated, I thought about how quickly my relationship with Tatum had changed. How all it took was one kiss in the middle of a bar to change everything between us.

  I recognized how truly happy I felt being here with him in these moments. The feeling felt new, different somehow. Was I stupid to want it to last?

  College Applications

  Paige

  We headed back through the woods hand in hand before walking into his mama’s house, saying hi, grabbing a sandwich, and going right back out the front door. Mrs. Montgomery’s gaze dropped to our locked hands, and she smiled before making eye contact with me. I blushed and bit back the grin that tried to escape, but failed. I wanted to talk to her about all this, but right now wasn’t the time.

  Back in the barn, I started to head over to the couch to sit down, but Tatum stopped me. “Nope. Go over to the desk and turn on the computer.”

  Narrowing my gaze, I gave him a questioning look. “Why?”

  “Don’t argue with me or I’ll call you that name you hate.”

  I grumbled and he laughed, then walked away as I pressed the button to start the aging PC. Placing a plate with a sandwich in front of me, as well as a glass of sweet tea, Tatum nodded toward the screen. “So?”

  I didn’t get it. “So, what?”

  “Where do you want to go to college?” He folded his arms across his chest as he waited for my response.

  “Where do I what? I don’t know!” I shrieked a little too defensively, and he threw his hands up in surrender.

  “Don’t bite my head off, Paige. I’m asking you a question you should already know the answer to, don’t you think?”

  Heat crept up my neck and flooded into my cheeks. I felt like an idiot. I’d talked and fought for the chance to go to college for so many years, but I’d never actually taken any of the steps to do it. I looked away from Tatum’s knowing stare. “I’m not sure where I want to go.”

  “Well, figure it out.” He pointed to the Internet icon.

  I paused for a moment. “I always thought I’d want to get as far away from everyone as possible. But now I don’t think I’d be happy if I went that far away. Is that stupid? Do you think I’m a wimp? I bet Quinn would call me a wimp,” I said, babbling.

  “Why would I think you’re a wimp?” His hand caressed my arm and chills appeared.

  “I don’t know. It’s just that I’ve been fighting with my agent over this for so long. And now that I’m actually thinking about doing it, I don’t think I want to go away at all.”

  Tatum squinted at me. “What do you mean you don’t want to go away?”

  “I just mean that I still want to go to college, but I think that I actually want to do it in LA. I don’t want to completely give up one thing for another, and I’ve worked too hard to build the career I have to just walk away from it. And I don’t want to, but I also want something normal. I want to go to college and do college things. I guess I just want it all,” I said slowly, realizing that I didn’t want to give up on acting completely.

  Actually, I wanted options and I wanted control, in all areas of my life; I was tired of everything being decided for me. There had to be a way where I could have all the things I wanted without losing my career.

  “Makes sense to me. You want to control your destiny. You want to have a say in your life. And you should.”

  “So should you,” I added, realizing now more than ever that our situations, while completely different, had similar themes.

  “I wouldn’t even know where to start anymore. I’ve been out of school for so long, basically doing nothing but running Dad’s shop. What the hell would I major in? What would be the point?” His voice sounded so deflated, it tore at my heartstrings.

  “Well, what did you want to do before? You never did tell me.”

  “Don’t laugh, all right?” he warned before getting up off the couch.

  “Okay,” I said slowly as he walked away.

  Tatum reappeared and sat on the couch with an acoustic guitar in his hand. “I love to play. My dream was to write and produce music,” he confessed, and I was dumbfounded. I had never seen this coming. Tatum had never even hinted at me that he loved music or wanted to have anything to do with it.

  “Have you written anything? How well do you play? Do you sing too? Will you play something for me?” The overload of questions spilled from my lips as my curiosity and excitement built.

  Tatum settled the guitar on his lap and began to strum a hauntingly beautiful melody. Lyrics filled the space between us as he sang along to the words he wrote, although not always loud enough for me to understand. I sat there staring at him, the red feeling inside me starting to burn. This incredible man who had been through so much had the most beautiful singing voice and talent, and I’d had no clue.

  When he finished playing, I closed my mouth and smiled. “Tatum, you have an amazing voice. You can really sing.”

  He lowered his head briefly before looking into my eyes. “Thanks, but I don’t like singing and I’m not comfortable singing in front of an audience, obviously. But I love writing the melodies and sometimes the lyrics. The way everything comes together and creates this piece of music that no one’s ever heard before…” His eyes danced with excitement. “It fires me up.”

  “I can tell.”

  “So, what did you think?”

  “You’re incredibly talented. And I’m not just saying that because I like kissing you. I really mean it.”

  He leaned forward and sat his guitar on the floor. “You like kissing me?” he teased, his lips inching closer.

  “Did I say like?” I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. “I meant love. I love kissing you,” I said before pressing my mouth against his. My tongue darted between his lips and met his as I moved toward him. He lifted me out of the chair, his hands splayed across my ass and my lower back, and I wrapped my legs around him.

  Tatum moved us to the couch and I sat straddling him. I pressed my hips against the hardness growing beneath me, my body yearning for his. Our mutual confessions made me feel closer to him, and I wanted to shred every bit of clothing that kept our skin apart, but even I knew it was too soon. My hips moved faster as our mouths matched the rhythm I was setting. I silently wondered how far he’d let me push him before he told me to stop.

  I didn’t have to wait long. “Damn it, Paige. You’re so distracting,” he said as he moved his lips away from mine.

  “Me? You’re the distracting one with those blue eyes and those lips.” I licked and nipped at his bottom lip.

  “Get your hot little ass back over to that computer and pick a college. Or two. I don’t care, but narrow it down and figure out where you want to go. We’re on a mission.”

  I refused to move. Folding my hands across my chest, I arched my eyebrows at him.

  “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” he complained.

  “I’ll
go look at colleges on one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That you figure out what to major in, or how to put that amazing talent to work.”

  He dropped his chin and closed his eyes. “Don’t make this about me, Paige.”

  “This is about both of us. About not giving up on dreams we once had.”

  “I don’t remember those dreams anymore,” he said, sounding convincing, but I refused to believe him.

  “Don’t lie to me, Tatum. But most of all, don’t lie to yourself.”

  He huffed out a long breath. “I think I’d like to write and produce music, but I’m not a hundred percent sure. I’ve never done it before, but if I had a passion for something, I think that’s where it lies.”

  “Tatum, that’s brilliant! I know people. I could introduce you to Walker Rhodes or anyone else in the business you wanted to meet.” My enthusiasm echoed throughout the small place. “Except Colin McGuire because, you know,” I paused, “screw him. Don’t sell him any of your songs either, or I’ll disown you.”

  He put one hand in the air as he shook his head. “One step at a time. And I don’t want your help. If I ever do something like this, Paige, I have to do it on my own.” He reached for his guitar, and I noticed his hands shaking.

  “Don’t be so proud. I didn’t want to give you a handout,” I lied. I’d totally give him a handout if it meant he could follow his dreams. I’d owe favors to Walker, Madison, or anyone who could help him. Even Jayson. “I simply meant that I could introduce you to people who might have some helpful tips and realistic feedback to offer. They’ve been in the business, so they can speak from experience and give you the rundown on what to expect. That’s all.” I sent up a silent prayer, hoping my words would calm him down.

  “I’m sorry.” He sat down next to me and placed his hand on my knee. “Thinking about doing this is scary. Hell, just thinking about it is terrifying.”

  “No kidding! How do you think I feel? I’ve wanted this for so long, and it’s always been out of reach. I think subconsciously I always thought that’s where it would stay. Out of reach, just a dream, something I wanted but would never get to have. And now that I’m actually thinking about pursuing it, it’s scary as hell. What if I fail? What if I hate it? What if this, what if that?” I grabbed my head with both hands and squeezed, overwhelmed by the mere thought of achieving this goal that had been nothing but a pipe dream for so long.