Dear Heart, I Hate You Read online

  “That’s pretty cool. I like that,” I admitted.

  I’d never really thought about it that way before. Granted, I was surrounded by success and excess in my line of work, but not to the level she was talking about. At least, not on a consistent basis. Schmoozing was required in my business. While I didn’t necessarily love that part of it, it was a necessary evil, and if I wanted to land big clients and make big money, it was something I had to do. But Jules had a point when she called it obnoxious.

  “It’s all just so over the top, you know?” she said. “Don’t get me wrong, I have success and I want more of it, but it’s not so I can walk around like I’m better than everyone else. Some of the other beach communities out here are like that. I can barely stomach going there when I have to.”

  I smirked. “What is it you don’t like exactly?”

  “All the fakeness. The fake people, the fake things. I prefer the people in my life to be authentic, you know? Wait, do I sound crazy? I probably sound crazy.”

  Jules needed to stop talking. I needed to stop asking her questions. Because every damn thing she said made her more and more attractive to me, and I was already in over my head here.

  “No, I get it. East Coast money is the same. The worst are the families that come from old money. They walk around like they’re royalty, as if everyone should be grateful for their presence.”

  She nodded. “I just don’t get it. Do I want money? Yes. Do I want nice things? Yes. But will I become a total bitch who looks down her nose at people? Never.”

  “You’re secure.” I reached for her hand. “You know who you are, and your priorities aren’t all screwed up. Most people aren’t like that, Jules. They have fucked-up ideas about what really matters. They get a little money and they lose themselves.”

  “I like that.” She smiled as she mulled over my words. “They get money and they lose themselves. So simple, but so true.”

  Our waiter came back with our drinks and asked if we needed more time.

  “Yeah, sorry. We haven’t even looked at our menus yet,” I said, feeling like an ass.

  “But in the meantime, we’ll take the sampler for two,” Jules suggested before looking at me. “It’s delicious. A bunch of seafood for us to share.”

  “Sounds perfect.” I opened my menu, trying to concentrate on it, but all I wanted was to focus my attention on Jules. I loved talking to her, learning the way her mind worked, hearing the things she thought.

  “What about you?” she asked, distracting me from the menu again.

  “What do you mean?”

  “When you get more money, are you going to lose yourself?” she teased.

  “I’m already so far gone, I’m never coming back,” I answered playfully before lifting her hand to my lips and pressing a kiss there.

  “Be serious. What kind of guy are you when it comes to money?”

  “The kind of guy who likes money and wants a lot more of it?” I shrugged. “I don’t know, Jules. I like nice things too, like you said. I would love to own a few properties, and I like nice cars. But I don’t want to turn into some pompous asshole because I can afford nice stuff.”

  “I don’t think you will.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Why not?”

  “Because I think Cooper would kick your ass,” she said with a laugh, referring to my little brother. “Plus, you spend a lot of your time volunteering. Pompous assholes don’t usually tend to do that. Unless they’re doing it for the press or having cameras following them around. Is that why you do it, Cal? For all the accolades?”

  I shook my head, wondering what the hell to do with this woman. Part of me wanted to bend her over my knee and spank her.

  “Yes, Jules. I spend my time teaching kids about math and finance for the fame that comes with it.”

  “Figures.”

  “What am I going to do with you?” I asked her rhetorically.

  “You tell me,” she said with a slight smirk and a shrug.

  “I could think of a few things.” I glanced around us at the busy lunch crowd. “But they don’t involve a single one of these people.”

  Jules threw her hand in the air. “Check, please,” she said before we’d even gotten our food.

  I had to laugh. This woman was downright perfect.

  Naps Are Underrated

  Jules

  Lunch was delicious, and I think Cal was impressed with not only the food, but with Malibu as well. I wasn’t sure why I wanted him to love where I lived so much, but a part of me definitely did.

  We were driving down PCH back toward my apartment when Cal asked if I could show him a property.

  “Really? You want to see a house?” Surprised, I glanced at him before turning back toward the road.

  “Yeah. Can we?”

  I nodded. “Uh-huh. But you might have to act like you’re a client if other people are there.”

  He gave me a devilish grin. “I can do that.”

  “I’m sure you can.”

  As I drove, my mind raced. What kind of property should I show him? Something in one of the few neighborhoods, or something over-the-top fancy?

  “I already know what you’re thinking,” Cal said. “Show me something in an exclusive area. Is there anything?”

  My mind immediately zeroed in on this house in The Colony. It was traditional Nantucket style, and I wondered if he’d be drawn to it because the style would be familiar.

  “I have the perfect place,” I said with my own devilish grin as I pulled toward a security gate. When the guard approached, I flashed my Realtor badge and signed in.

  “So, Miss Abbott. Tell me a little about where we are,” Cal asked, his tone professional.

  “Well, Mr. Donovan, we are in a section of Malibu called The Colony. It’s literally one mile of the most exclusive and sought-after beachfront properties. It used to be the place to be back in Hollywood’s heyday. It was Celebrity Central; things happened here that we’ve watched on the big screen or read about in magazines.”

  As I gave him the spiel, I started to get excited at the thought of how much history the neighborhood held. “The beaches are private, and although the public can access it in places, for the most part, they don’t. The homes typically range in price from fifteen to twenty million, but the property I’m showing you today is a steal at only nine ninety-five.”

  I pursed my lips to keep from smiling as I pulled in front of the modest two-story home. To be honest, it didn’t look like much from the outside. This house, like most of those in the area, had been built in the early forties.

  “This looks like the Cape,” he said as he climbed out of the car.

  I knew he’d think so. “It’s Nantucket style in architecture, and was built in 1942. It has three bedrooms and three baths, and is roughly twenty-three hundred square feet,” I said as I opened the front door. “There’s also a two-car garage, and everything has been newly painted.”

  “Holy shit,” Cal said as we walked through, no doubt stunned by the ocean view showcased by the floor-to-ceiling windows. “What a view.” He walked straight toward the double doors and opened them, stepping outside onto the brick patio and deck.

  When I followed him out, he turned and grabbed me by the waist and positioned my body in front of his. He wrapped his arms around me and we stood like that, my back pressed to his chest, staring at the ocean in front of us for who knew how long. Nothing mattered as long as he held me that way.

  “The beach is private?” he whispered against my ear.

  “Mm-hmm,” was all I managed, the feel of his groin pressing against me more than a little distracting.

  “What are the other features?” he asked, moving my hair to the side and running his lips along my neck.

  “Um, the kitchen has all stainless steel appliances with warm wood cabinetry. There are two bedrooms and bathrooms on the main floor, and the entire upstairs is the master suite.” I breathed out as he kissed me again. “It’s floor-to-ceiling windows
up there as well. The view is unbelievable, and . . . Oh hell, who cares?” I said before turning around to face him, my lips meeting his as my need for him continued to build.

  “I can’t get enough of you, Jules,” he said between kisses, and I couldn’t agree more.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I suggested as we practically sprinted to my car.

  As I navigated the PCH, Cal’s hand didn’t stay settled in its usual spot on my thigh. No, it inched closer to my sweet spot, his fingers brushing against me lightly, causing sounds to escape from my throat without warning.

  “You’re going to make me crash.”

  I glanced at him before reaching for his pants, and feeling the bulge there, squeezed lightly. The hard feel of him made my thighs clench, and even though I’d just had him this morning, it suddenly seemed like way too long ago.

  He moaned as I continued to stroke the length of him, his fingers pausing in their torture campaign on my body.

  I couldn’t get home fast enough.

  The stupid privacy gate wouldn’t open quickly enough.

  And I couldn’t pull into my parking spot swiftly enough.

  We raced each other up the stairs, one thing on our minds as I struggled to get the key in the slot.

  “Jules,” Cal growled out, pressing his body against my back as I fumbled with the key.

  “That isn’t helping,” I warned.

  The key finally slid in and I pushed the door open as Cal pulled my purse from my shoulder and dropped it to the floor, the contents spilling out around our feet. I’d get it later. Right now, his mouth was hot on mine, our bodies connected as he walked me backward toward my room, bumping us into the walls along the way. Heat spread between us, my body feeling like it was on fire with every touch.

  As if his patience had worn thin, Cal scooped me into his arms in the hallway, his mouth still attached to mine as he walked me through the doorway and deposited me onto my bed. He unbuttoned his shirt, and I stopped breathing for a moment to watch as his glorious chest was revealed.

  “Get naked, Jules,” he demanded, his voice throaty.

  I did as he asked, but he was distracting. I tried to take off my clothes without tearing my eyes from his body, but it was a challenge. When I removed the last article of clothing, I found Cal watching me with hungry eyes as he bit his bottom lip.

  “Mine,” I said possessively as I reached for him, pulling him down on top of me.

  Taking his bottom lip between my teeth, I nibbled and licked at it, loving how soft it was in contrast to the rest of his scruffy face. The feel of his bare stomach against mine caused my eyes to close for only a moment. When I reopened them, his hazel eyes were fixed on mine.

  The look in his eyes combined with the feel of his skin on mine caused the zoo inside me to come to life. I wasn’t sure what animals were in there, but they sure as shit weren’t butterflies. Something much larger was wreaking havoc inside my chest. Probably a dinosaur. With large feet. Stomping around inside me like it owned the place.

  The tip of Cal’s length pressed against me and I literally ached for him, my need growing to an almost ridiculous level. I raised my hips up as I bit at his lip again, sucking and licking, running my tongue across it. He pushed inside me, and a moan escaped as I exhaled quickly.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “God, yes,” I answered, almost breathless as he attacked my mouth with his, our movements fueled by passion, by lust, by desire.

  How could someone feel this good inside me? I’d liked sex in the past; it had always been fine. But that was just it—it had always been fine. It had never quite been like this.

  Cal worked his hips, moving in and out of me as I bucked against him, the pressure building. I dug my fingers into his back, pulling him into me. Harder. Deeper. Faster. We came together, again and again and again, until I couldn’t hold on anymore.

  “Let go, Jules,” Cal breathed against my ear, his back slick with sweat as he pressed a kiss to my cheek.

  My neck arched back and I released a cry, my body convulsing as waves of pleasure moved through me. Cal mumbled something I couldn’t decipher before his body jerked repeatedly and he collapsed on top of me, our breathing erratic and shallow.

  “Still epic?” he asked with a smile.

  “Oh yeah.” I couldn’t even toy with him at this point; my body was spent in the best way possible.

  “You might kill me this weekend, woman.”

  “Not if you kill me first.”

  He slid over so he was no longer covering me completely, but parts of him still pressed against parts of me. I closed my eyes for only a moment, but when I reopened them, the room was dark.

  Shit.

  My eyes bleary, I glanced at the clock on my DVD player. It was a little after six. We still had plenty of time before we needed to be at Tami’s.

  Relieved, I closed my eyes again and reveled in the fact that I was all tangled up in Cal, in more ways than one.

  • • •

  Cal was out. I wiggled myself out from under him and plugged in my curling iron, pulled out my makeup bag, and hung up my outfit in the bathroom. It would take me longer to get ready than it would take him, so I figured I’d let him sleep a little more.

  He looked gorgeous, lying there in my bed, wrapped in my sheets, his dark hair all mussed. I couldn’t resist taking a picture of him with my phone. I realized in that moment that we hadn’t taken a single photo together since he’d gotten here. I’d make sure Tami remedied that later. No need to keep staring at the ones from Boston every night when I could have new ones to look at.

  “Hey.” I shook his shoulder lightly and pressed my lips to his temple. “Cal?”

  He grumbled before rubbing his eyes and blinking up at me. “Hi. How long was I out?”

  “We both crashed, but you need to get up and get ready. Do you want a bourbon or some coffee?”

  “Bourbon, babe. Always bourbon.” He reached for my waist and pulled me on top of his lap before tangling his hand in my hair and pulling my mouth to his. “I love kissing you.”

  “You’re telling me.” I ran my finger along the curve of his bottom lip before taking it into my mouth and sucking gently.

  “Better stop,” he warned, and I laughed.

  “We can’t. We have to get ready. I’ll go get you that bourbon.” I smiled as I pulled out of his grasp.

  “This is the night I’m dressing up, right?” he called out from the room.

  “Yes!” I shouted back as I poured his drink and brewed some coffee for me.

  A moment later, I walked back into the bedroom with both drinks in hand. Cal wasn’t in my room, so I headed into the bathroom.

  My jaw dropped open slightly when I saw him dressed in a navy suit and a crisp white button-down shirt. The shirt’s top two buttons were undone, and I drank him in as he leaned toward the mirror and fussed with his hair.

  “Wow. You look so hot,” I said before handing him his bourbon.

  “Is this okay for Hollywood?” he asked, meeting my eyes in the mirror.

  “It’s perfect. I’d better get dressed.”

  I grabbed my outfit hanging on the back of the door and slipped out of the yoga pants and tank that I’d worn while doing my hair and makeup. As I tossed my clothes on the floor, I noticed Cal’s gaze on me. When he took a step toward me, I put my hand up to stop him.

  “Don’t come closer, Cal. I mean it. We have to get to Tami’s on time.”

  “You should have gotten undressed somewhere else then, Jules. What do you expect?”

  “Self-control.” I narrowed my eyes at him as I took a tentative step back, and he sipped his bourbon, watching me through hooded eyes.

  I stepped into my high-waisted black pencil skirt that fit me perfectly, hugging every curve on my body and stopping well above my knees. My black sleeveless blouse was beautiful, the material light and flowy as I tucked it in. Moving to the tub, I sat on the edge and slipped into my black heels with white pearl
straps. To finish off the look, I pulled on a white dress jacket, which added the perfect amount of pop to the otherwise dark outfit.

  Checking myself in the mirror one last time, I fussed with my hair, which now had long, loose waves in it, and touched up the contouring on my cheeks.

  “You look stunning.” Cal stepped behind me as we stared at our reflections in the mirror. We looked damn good together.

  “Cal, we need a selfie,” I said as I reached for my phone. Holding it in front of us, we both smiled as I took a picture.

  “One more,” he said as he kissed my neck from behind, and I took another. Damn it, if this guy wasn’t going to be the death of me somehow. “You liked our kissing pictures from Boston.”

  “Of course I did. I’m a girl,” I said without thinking.

  He stepped next to me and took my phone from my hand as he kissed my lips tenderly, but with determination.

  “Now I have to fix my lipstick again,” I complained halfheartedly when he pulled away.

  “You’re going to have that problem all night if you don’t just leave it off,” he said with a smirk, so I reached for the tube and plopped it into my clutch.

  “Ready?”

  “Ready,” he said.

  I looked him up and down, liking what I saw.

  “I still can’t believe you’re here.” I got all giddy again, as if this was somehow a dream I’d wake up from.

  Cal chuckled. “I can’t believe I get to meet Tami.”

  Shit. I prayed she wasn’t wearing her pink contacts as I typed out a text and told her we were on our way.

  Hollywood Nights

  Jules

  I headed the car toward Tami’s house, not only excited because I was taking Cal to Hollywood, but also at the thought that he and Tami were finally meeting. I assumed they’d hit it off, but Tami could be a real ballbuster, and it would seriously suck for me if she hated him.

  I glanced at Cal in his suit, his hair perfectly messed up in spikes, and decided he looked dapper. Stupid word, but it fit. Tami was going to love him.

  “So, tell me everything I need to know about tonight.” Cal settled into the passenger seat, his hand resting on my thigh, as usual.